Social Media- The Guide to Everything I Want to Know About You.

Facebook. You sneaky little jackass. I care about VERY few things, Facebook wise. I care about things that make me smile, my friend getting married, my nephew.
You know that neat little tool on Groupon or Amazon Local that asks you how you feel about certain subjects, then only gives you ads that you actually are interested in? My Facebook needs one of those.
Because I don't give a flying fart-monkey about my sisters'-friends'-baby doing dances on the bed. I don't give a fuck what she ate, when you two went to sleep, or how she sticks her tongue out. DO. NOT. GIVE. ANY. FUCKS. YES, God, I am interested in the pictures that my sister posts, in an album, of my nephew putting Sesame Street stickers on his belly. She doesn't feel the need to write an entire NOVEL on the way he arranged them or some such bullshittery.
The only reason I even know they exist is because Facebook is the tool of the attention whore, so even if you just want to post a quiet little picture change, Facebook announce that you have uploaded a new  photo and changed your profile pic with all the enthusiasm of Seventh-Grade cheerleaders cracked out on pizza and soda at their first pep rally with a megaphone.
So I also must ask, how does one deal with That One Friend? You  know, the one who is so desperately lonely he has to post everything all the time about his city that he loves and this new artbook he got and this cat that-isn't-his-but-his-roommates-and-he-can-now-totally-relate-to-being-a-cat-owner-because-of-all-the-times-he-sees-the-animal-in-the-hall. This wall is his journal. He even uses hashtags because he 'hates twitter' but will treat them like one and the same.
I spend my time looking at the giveaways and coupons posted to my wall, and then I see where he has said "It's a Beautiful Day in (the city where I live)" and I cross every blessed extremity in the hope that no one even gives him a damn 'Like' because then he will post three-six consecutive comments on his own status about the temperature, the cloud he saw, the way the sun looks from this angle and virtually any other thing that pops into his head. He has a significant inability to realize that the 'like' he has received is in appreciation, an agreement. As in, "Yes, it is in fact, a lovely day!" as opposed to "Goodness, you are correct! Please tell us more about this tiny town ten miles away from the rest of your friends and family! Scour your mind for every description of the weather!"
I log on Facebook to see celebrations and free things, but sometimes it is so difficult not to leave the repeating message "NO ONE CARES" on every status I see.

The Gift Horse

2013 and still no job. Fail.
Is it totally and completely wrong to hate the gift horse?
There is a woman (always a woman) who believes that I am her only friend, her family hates her and I deserve stuff because of my 'Tragic Situation'.
It's true I have no money, and she is used to living large. So when she asks me to 'Go out for a little lunch', I would like Wendys, McDonalds, dollar menu junk. But no. She wants lobster and Olive Garden and Chilis. All the expensive stuff that I can't afford, so I eat from the bread basket. We go 'shopping', she wants Apricot Lane and Circa 2000, where a simple T is around $200-$300. Welcome to the Walmart- raised, baby!
So. In light of this, she is rich and simply MUST buy clothing and food and every other thing for me. I thought it was kind of her to buy me shampoo and body wash when I needed it. I thought it was slightly rude but thoughtful of her to buy me hair dye when the color started fading out. But then it progressed.
She started buying me shoes, shirts, jewelry, books, blankets, jackets. I am not ungrateful for these things, but I am uncomfortable with the fact that I can't really thank her properly. I can make her home-baked goods, but she doesn't want that. She wants $3.00 cupcakes and $40 cheesecake. She likes Victorian teas, so I offered a picnic where we could make our own wraps and bring wine and pie. Suddenly she wants it catered in a park you have to pay to get into.
This makes no sense to me- I don't know what I can offer her but friendship, and I've done my best.
I try to refuse the gifts, but she cries and asks why I don't like her anymore.
The Gift Horse stinks.

The "Fatness"

WARNING. BOOBS ARE MENTIONED HEREIN

As I was saying yesterday, I have plans to go to Afest. I HAD four costumes laid out- Kairi from kingdom hearts (in a red version and a pink version), Riku (also from KH) and 'Corset Girl'- that has been my badge name for five years (up until I recently lost my account information.) Now, with the job-less, homeless-ness problem, i have two costumes; Kairi of the pink and Corset girl of the duct tape.
Here is the problem.
I have a disease, according to my twin. I am infected with "The Fatness".
Honestly, people. Really.So, automatically, I'm not allowed to cosplay Kairi or Riku, or anything other than a frumpy-drunk-chick-in-a-bar-who-is-fat-but-denies-it-and-she-is-side-character-that-is-used-for-random-murder-scene-lets-call-her-Brunhilda.
SERIOUSLY.
I are not fat!
But that's not the point.
It's ridiculous to restrict cosplay to  same-size-of-character-only people. Hullo, numbnuts. No one, except for NO ONE is shaped like this;


(the busty be-corsetted brunette, not the blonde with psycho-druggie-eyes)
(Credit to Vampire Hunter D, by Hideyuki Kikuchi, drawn by Saiko Takaki)
Reminds me of the genie in Aladdin-
"MIGHTY COSMIC TITS!- Itty-bitty waistline."
And back to the subject at hand-
I understand that there are hardcore fans of every anime who believe that no character will ever look right except for the one they choose to cosplay because they will always be the closest.
THE CLOSEST. Doesn't mean exact, doesn't mean "Holy Fritoes, Batman, you must have just walked off the pages of the book!"
NO.
So there will never be a 'Perfect' Sephiroth, Tifa, Goku or Mario. Princess Peach will never come to life and be ready to be rescued, you Bowser-costumed pervs.
There will never be a need to have a 'real master sword', keyblade or Silver tray ready to serve the Phantomhive clan. So just stop.
There is no need to belittile the size-eighteen female in the Tifa costume who spent years getting her hair to grow that long, several hundred dollars to hand-make that leather costume and make it movie-accurate, who "has the right tits but is too fat" for the part. (hullo, I'd like to see NATURAL DDD boobs on a size five body frame. yuhno)

(Tifa)
It get ridiculous. The most radical I've heard was someone ordering an african-american Cloud to pick a costume to match him better.
Like Barett. (Not hatin' on Barett, he's badass. It's just his bad-assery kinda scares me. A lot.)

Cloud

Barett.
Now, see that big shiney? That's a gun. It's attached to his arm. Does he look happy? No. So there is my reasoning.

Anywho.
It's rude! The Cloud had made everything completely screen-accurate (and I know this because I heart that movie with the undying passion of a thousand fangirls) except for, oh wait, HIS SKIN. God forbid he have to deal with GENETICS.
But then, I guess some genetics make some people ASSHOLES. RAWR.
So. In short, (or long,) the "Fatness" isn't a disease or a disability. Please, someone, tell me that they cosplayed a "fat" Tifa! In the hoochie skirt and wifebeater!!!!!

Moving!

Why, God, WHY?
So psycho-bitchy-angry-stoner Roomie has given the word; Nine days to vacate!
Not because I'm loud, rude, snobbish or mean. But because I lost my job and ALTHOUGH I bring home food (PLENTY of food. None of it funky nameless cow parts or something of the like) He hath decided that I am no longer worth the effort.
BUT (and here is the ironic twister) He still wants me to come over. Every day. And bring my cat for play dates. (What the @#$%$????)
So, beyond ALL. OF. THAT, I am returning to a house that is overly full. Actually, it has six people living in a four-bedder. Yeah. No. FML.
Still no job though.
Also, Have ton of crochet projects to finish, sewing projects to fumble, and duct tape ones to commence!
Confused?
DAMN YOU INSTRUCTABLES! (Instructable.com) For us crafty-type-y peoples, Instructable is a rare kind of addiction. It has projects for all genres; from simple, sedate sewing to electrical engineering. Yeah. No Shit. Check it out. some of my favorites would be the Ductape corset, the Creeper pillow-topper and the creeper plushie.
I have this grandiose idea of finishing the ductape corset before august and wearing it to AFest (anime festival held in Dallas, Texas) but again, I lack a job, therefore lack money to get ductape....  Ridiculousness. So kids, if you want to keep your home and all that's important, DON'T LOSE YOUR JOB. Horrible idea, really.

Ducttape Corset is at-   http://www.instructables.com/id/Ducttape-corset/ made by Floddertje
Creeper Pillow-Topper- http://www.instructables.com/id/Minecraft-creeper-pillow-cushion/  by lizzyastro
and the Plushie- http://www.instructables.com/id/Minecraft-Stuffed-Creeper-Doll/ by DucttapeNinja

In any case, this teeny post was supposed to take fifteen minutes. While looking for those above mentioned projects, I got lost again.... crap.

Who's Cheating Who?

Music can change a mood so quick- you ever notice how even a song such as 'Who's cheating who?" has a great uplifting tune! haha. *pllll*
Anywhooo~
So! Boyfriend has Psychbitch ex who WON'T GO AWAY. Maybe if I tell her that the popo are on speed dial...?